Fact: We live in a world full of people.
Fact: People suck.
Before you write me off for a guy who hates people let me explain. A lot of the time I do hate people… until I am reminded that I am a person myself. Therefore, as a person I can say with confidence that we all SUCK!
But there is so much more to it than just saying that we suck. This is because suck can have so many different meanings for us as people. But the first one that I want to address is the concept that we suck the life out of one another. We suck the life out of other people when we begin to think that they exist for our own need. We do this by treating people as sounding-boards for our problems, crappy ideas and pyramid schemes (we are all part of one). We do this by treating people as doormats for the dirt of our guilt, shame and fear. We do this when we treat our friends as MY friends, as if friendships were a one-way street.
When we do all of those things we can only expect one response. Rejection. Even our closest people who we swear would never leave us will eventually bail if we continue to USE them. But the interesting thing is that our people don’t often leave us but instead we leave them. We leave and retreat into the darkness of self when our friends can’t give us the answer that we wanted or when they can’t give us an answer at all. So we retreat to isolation.
This leads us to the next and worst way that we suck. We suck the life out of ourselves. This is where the photo of the dead crawdad becomes relevant. I found this crawdad dried up and dead on the rocks in North Tahoe. None of the other crawdads forced this one to retreat from its home in the water. None of the other crawdads forced this one to bake on the rocks until it was hollow inside. We are blind, but we do this ourselves. We allow ourselves to believe that what we have will never be good enough; the friends we have will never fully understand us. So we begin to run from them.
When we run the only direction we can go is towards a destination of less life. So the truth is, we need our crappy relationships. If anything, our crappy relationships will pull us outside of the darkness in ourselves. If we fail to stop internalizing we will externalize in an explosive manner. So let’s get real and admit that people suck on everyday of the week but there is life found outside of knowing that people suck.
Fact: People need people.
Let’s love people. Even if they are annoying, contentious, prideful, arrogant, selfish, disrespectful, demeaning, conniving, heart-breaking, cold, bitter, mindless, abusive, soft… They need love just as much as we do.
(I really just wanted to include this photo to show off my new kicks…).